Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Peace At Last

I never got another treater. The good Lord had mercy on me and it was well with my soul.

It took awhile for me to calm down. I jumped out of my skin every time the furnace kicked in. I kept expecting that doorbell to ring at any moment, and I would have to give away one of Dee's Reese's cups. The memory continues to haunt me.

But things really became peaceful after I got the last of the smaller parts downstairs. I was able to get the bigger box down after I tilted the treadmill on it's side. So all that was left was the treadmill itself. Getting that downstairs was going to take two people.

So I settled down in the easy chair with my laptop and got caught up on some work. I still had to fill out my Lay Speaking Certification renewal form. I was waiting to make sure I successfully completed my class that weekend. I did, so I was able to start working on that.

I heard the garage door open and people disembarking from our van. I jumped up and realized the bag of Reese's was still on the steps by the door. I forgot to put away the evidence. Even though I hadn't given away a single one. Just the appearance of the bag outside it's concealed area might be enough to send Dee over the edge.

"Dad!" Brianna came in to give me a hug.

"How was the party?"

"It was so much fun, you should seen mom on the Wii."

"Mom played the Wii?" I asked incredulously. My wife gets motion sickness badly, and the huge moving screens you get when you're racing Mario go-karts, or just looking around a 3-D world can give her an instant headache. So she's somewhat limited in the games she can enjoy. Besides that, video games just aren't her thing. My several chapter blog on video games, in her opinion, was one the most boring blogs I've written.

Brianna continued, "yeah, she had to slice this fruit in the air like a Samurai warrior, it was great."

That caused me to chuckle, I pictured Dee flailing the control stick like a sword going through the air. "No one was hurt were they?"

"No, but you had to stand back a bit."

"I bet."

Dee walked in. She saw me standing in the hallway. "Hi," she said before her eyes fell to what I was holding in my hand.

Yes, unfortunately I was literally caught holding the bag. I witnessed a transformation right before my eyes. My sweet, loving wife's eyes suddenly began getting very big. I stared into them and thought I could see the laser beams charging up. "You didn't!" She sneered.

I immediately flew into panic mode, "No honey, honest, I didn't give away one." She had just been through sword training, anything was bound to happen. "I thought I was going to run out of Snickers."

"THEN YOU SHUT THE LIGHTS OFF AND LOCK THE DOOR!" Things were getting desperate.

"You can't do that!" I pleaded. I hurried to embrace her. If she was locked in a hug it might be more difficult to wield any weapons. At least the large flailing variety. "I promise no one got your Reeses." I wanted to reassure her.

"Put them back in the pantry." She said back to her calm, sweet, voice. Whew!

The sacred Reese's were put away and we visited about each others night. The party sounded like fun. The Wii went over pretty good and the antics of our church youth group are always interesting to hear. I learned there were not two, but three flatbed trailers roaming our streets that night. I can only remember 2 mobs but parts of the evening are rather fuzzy.

She described one she saw that contained a Native American chief, decked out with head dress and feathers. She said everyone else on the trailer was sitting but this kid was standing up towards the front with both hands holding on to a front side rail behind the driver. Dee described how his feathers were flowing behind him as they traveled. He looked like Chief Crazy Horse coming to lead his warriors in a charge.

I told them if they wanted to hear about my night they would have to read this blog.

Well, that treadmill still had to get downstairs. We went out to the garage to see what could be done. Very few things I've lifted are as heavy, or as awkward as treadmills. This one was even worse because it had some hinges on either side so you could tilt the running deck upward for storage and "easy" relocation.

So you basically had to carry this thing on it's side to try to keep the front heavy part from swaying back and forth. We hoisted it in the air and brought it up the few stairs into the house. Immediately I could feel the metal rails cutting into my hand. "I've got to get some gloves. Put it down." Please and thank you kind of fly out the window when you do something like this.

My gloves, of course, were in the garage, which was now blocked by the treadmill. I rushed into our coat/laundry room and rummaged through hats and scarves. All I could find was my son's little pair. I squeezed my hands into them. Tight fit but it would have to do.

We lifted again and brought it in. There was sharp 90 degree turn going downstairs so we had to go all the way into the family room, pivot, reverse and go down. Since I had the heavy side I was going down first. We had to stop in the middle of the stairs because my strength had given out. I'm not a Hulk Hogan if you catch my drift. The treadmill slid a little bit and Dee panicked because it felt to her like we were going to lose it. A heavy treadmill sliding downstairs under it's own volition is not a pretty picture.

"I got it," I breathed as I leaned against the thing, "just have to rest a bit."

This whole time my son, Brian, is following us. He likes to mutter under his breath, something we're trying to cure him of. "I knew this was going to happen." He whispered, but we heard him.

"Brian, what was going to happen?" Dee asked.

"You weren't going to get it downstairs."

"Brian, what do you think we're doing?" I fired back. "We're going to be fine."

"Yeah, after you go to the emergency room."

"We'll be fine." I repeated. "Ready?" I said to my lovely wife. She nodded.

Up again, we made it downstairs. Now we had 180 degree turn but it wasn't important that I was in front anymore so we could move all the way into the basement and then she would take the lead down the hallway into our storage, now turned exercise room.

We made it with relatively few injuries. Dee didn't make it to WalMart by the way.

Another interesting evening in the Meissner house.


Kristopher and Crew said...

Man, that reminds me of moving my brother's sectional hide-a-bed couch with spring loaded "cobra-strike" bed unfolding action! That was the worst moving experience of my life!

Steve at Random said...

I heard a little different version from "the little lady" when we were standing in line for potluck last night at church. I would guess what you have written is History and what I heard was Herstory. However, all's well that end's well.