An old man's dream came true

Wow has it been over 5 years since I posted to this thing? It looks like a few things have changed also. I have to relearn how to do this. I just got back from an amazing weekend in Grand Forks and had to write something about it.

As most of your know, Brianna, my daughter is in her third year of college at the University of North Dakota majoring in music education. As a musician she has also participated in the Pride of the North University Athletic Band. So she has had the opportunity to perform pregame and halftime shows for the football team as well as play in the pep band for other sports like hockey and basketball.

This year she she was selected to be one of the two drum majors for the marching band so not only is she part of the marching band she gets to stand on a ladder and direct the troops. Needless to say she has some very proud parents.

Over the years we've attended some of these games and as a trumpet player myself, I've expressed many times how I wished I could be out there playing as well. This weekend Brianna and her boyfriend made that happen.

We already had made plans to go to Grand Forks for her flute recital which was to take place last Saturday and it just so happened there was a women's hockey game to be played later that afternoon against the University of Minnesota. The kids mentioned they often have a hard time getting a full band to sign up and that just maybe they might let an old duffer like me sit in. Last week I received a happy text directing me to bring my trumpet and that everything was set for me to play at the game.


After an amazing recital we made our way to the Ralph Engelstad Arena where I went in the back entrance and received my uniform jersey. Unfortunately, I had to give it back once the game was over. we got our instruments together and made our way into the stands.

I have to admit I was a bit anxious. I wasn't sure how the rest of the band would take to having this old guy come sit in with them. I needn't have worried. The band could not have been more gracious. One of them exclaimed, "We have a guest!" and they made me feel extremely welcome.

Brianna's boyfriend Josh gave me his music and started explaining how the procedure worked with when certain songs would be played and when. It's important the band only plays when they are supposed to. It is an athletic event and you don't want to distract from actual game play.

My first struggle was with the music. Marching band music is printed on little rectangles of paper with minutely tiny notes. In my younger days I had no problem deciphering the musical symbols. These days, I wear bifocals and I struggled to find the right distance from my face so things weren't all blurry.

Here you can see the blob of music I'm holding and me struggling to read them. Josh is on my right and Brianna is on my left with the saxophone. Note how all the college kids have their music memorized so they don't have the same problem I do.

My next struggle was how quickly they change from song to song. You have very little time to page through the music Rolodex and find the next song. Usually they were already halfway done by the time I started to play.

The next adventure was during the 2nd and 3rd periods the band lines up outside the arena and marches an impromptu parade around the concourse. They play the school fight songs and for some reason a catchy tune called, "In Heaven there is no beer". That was a hoot marching around having the spectators walking and clapping along.

Alas, all good things must end. UND tied the game but ending up losing the shootout. So it wasn't exactly a North Dakota victory but this old man had the time of his life playing with these kids. For a few hours, it was just like I was back in high school again. Then I had to turn in my jersey.

THANK YOU to Brianna and Josh. I will never forget this amazing experience!

Someone’s Always Watching

Our daughter is 15 now, yet I still remember her first day of kindergarten like it was yesterday. If she was nervous, she didn't show it. She's always had an independent streak about her. She was excited at starting a new adventure. All day at work I thought about how she was doing, whether or not she made any friends, if she liked her teacher. I was very interested in hearing all about her day when I got home. How the first big day of kindergarten went for her. We sat down to supper and I asked her how her first day of school was.

She suddenly got very serious and formal. I had to keep myself from laughing because it was so strange to see her acting like that. She said, very seriously. “Mom, dad, I am going to marry Matthew.”

My mouth fell open. I had gone through in my head all the things I expected her to say. I remember reading my baby book of how I described my first day of kindergarten. You want to know what I said? “It was great, we even got two desserts, jell-o and pudding.”

I expected her to talk about what they served for lunch, what her teacher was like, what kind of games they played at recess. Never in my wildest dreams, did I expect her to come home with a marriage announcement. For quite awhile neither my wife or I could say anything. When I was able to recover my voice, I told her that 6 years old was a little young to get married. She gave me this look like I just wasn't getting it. She said, “dad, we're going to finish school first, but I'm going to marry Matthew.” As if I didn't have anything to say in the matter.

If this young man was going to be my future son-in-law, I figured I should try to find out something about him. So later that evening I was talking some more about Matthew and asking her what made her so sure this was the boy she was going to marry. She said, “I want to marry him, dad, because he reminds me so much of you.” I confess, at first I got a little prideful, I thought, “this is is a smart girl I've got here. She wants to marry someone like me.” But later after we had all gone to bed I really thought hard about this. I do some of my best thinking in bed. If my daughter is looking for boys with the same qualities as me, as boyfriends or potential husband material, you had better believe I need to make sure I’m acting like the sort of man I would want my daughter to be interested in. It really put a whole different spin on this kindergarten marriage planning. Things suddenly got very serious indeed.

Our children and grandchildren are watching every move we make, whether we know it or not. Children learn by example and by copying those around them. I remember one evening we gone over to my wife’s aunt and uncle's house for supper. After the meal, we were sitting around drinking coffee and visiting. The kids were at the table also with drinks of their own. My son was studying me like he was about to take the most important test of his life. He held his cup exactly the same way I was. When I took a drink, he took a drink. When I set my cup down, he set his down. He never took his eyes off me. It made me wonder how long he was studying me before I realized it. Our children are watching us all the time. And when we start to think no one is watching us or cares about what we are doing, that's when we need to be especially mindful of our actions and the words we say, because they are probably looking at us closer than ever.

The point of this whole message was reinforced with sledgehammer-like blows just a few weeks ago. My daughter had just gone through a very messy break-up. Things were not happy in the Meissner house. This was one of the occasions we are so fortunate to have a two-parent household. My wife was in charge of damage control. My job was to get the men out of the house. So I said to my son, “let's go fishing!”

Later that night, during the “dad’s de-briefing”. My wife told me during the most difficult part, with tears streaming down her face,  our daughter cried, “Why can't I just find someone like dad?”

As these words met my ears, I felt the heavy weight of fatherhood so much it was as if I would be crushed by it. I feel as if I'm being measured by a standard I can't possibly live up to. But I have a family depending on me, so I have to do my best to try, don’t I?

The next morning, I had to take our daughter to band practice and I asked her how she was feeling. “Better than yesterday,” she said. I felt like I should say something. So I reached way down deep for the best piece of fatherly advice I could manage, and said, “you may not want to hear this, but it doesn't matter if it takes until you are old and gray. Good guys are worth waiting for, and you don't deserve anything less than a good guy.” Not bad, huh?

And as she left for school and I drove off to work, I resolved once again to be the best husband and father I can be.

Sandwich #3–Comet Morehouse

I’m very behind in blogging. I’ve got several things I wanted to write about, but alas, have not found time to get it done. But I’ve used that excuse too many times already so I’ll just press on.

To review, I’m on a quest to consume all 16 sandwiches at Erbert & Gerberts (E&G) sub shop. As a card carrying member of the sandwich society, I get a free sandwich if I try every one of the sandwiches on their menu. In blogging terms, I’m on sandwich #3, but I’ve actually had 3 more sandwiches since the last blog so I’ve got some “catch-up” writing to do.

My last sandwich was tuna fish which has been the worst one so far. I was much more excited about the Comet Morehouse. The ingredients were more to my liking. I’ve said before, these sandwiches aren’t fancy. They try to use simple but fresh ingredients. The Comet Morehouse was your basic ham and cheese. Ham, provolone cheese, tomato, lettuce, and, of course, Hellmann’s Mayo.

First, the good points. IT WASN’T TUNA! Ham and cheese is right up my alley. There was plenty of juicy deli-sliced ham. Provolone cheese isn’t my favorite (I’m partial to aged cheddar or pepper-jack), but was just fine mixed with the other fillings. They put just the right quantity of mayo, not too much, not too little.

I also got a kick out of the "bag". I'm so glad they labeled it. I'd hate to confuse this brown paper object for any other purpose. A few weeks later, I got 4 sandwiches for the whole family and chortled when I received a bag labeled, "big bag". I suppose it must be more for the sandwich makers to make sure they grab the right size bag for the "to-go" orders. Still, I love a business with a sense of humor.

Then, the bad. The tomatoes were awful. Pale colored, mushy, and no flavor whatsoever. Granted, I ate this sandwich February 18, so it really wasn’t tomato season, but I’ve had better tomatoes from other places. I also went with wheat bread. Probably the last time for awhile. It was dry and hard, just like my last sandwich. The “guts” were even a bit dry. Usually the inside bread scoops are the softest, tastiest bits of bread. According to the nutritional information, there really isn’t much health benefit compared to the white, so I’ll be eating white bread the next time. 3 out of 5 stars.

Now for the story. If you remember from the Bornk Sandwich blog, I had to sneak into the women’s rest room to get the story from the plaque hanging on the wall. It was amusing but very embarrassing. I was delighted to buzz out to the E&G web site and find they now have the stories for each sandwich posted for curious individuals to enjoy. I sent two emails to their customer service and received no response whatsoever, but me and quite possibly several other people, finally got through to their marketing folks and they got their web site changed!

Strangely enough, the cute coloring sheets they did have are no longer there. How hard would it have been to just add the stories, but leave the sheets? Good grief people! Alas, I don’t have a coloring sheet link, so you’ll have to click here for the story, and an “already colored” picture of Comet Morehouse is below.

Here are the story highlights. Comet Morehouse is the evil villain. His name and character are based on an actual comet spotted in 1908. I’m a closet astronomer and so I can’t resist talking a bit about it. Non-geeks may wish to skip to the next paragraph. Comet Morehouse appears to be a parabolic orbit which is essentially a curve, meaning it won’t be back. If it is a closed elliptical orbit (race-track like) it won’t be back for several million years.

Geek-speak off. The villain Morehouse had always been extremely upset that Halleys Comet (another sandwich) got to return to earth every 76 years. Watching Halleys comet get all the fame and notoriety fueled his anger and resentment. Several eons ago, Morehouse was taken over by demons and now attempts to foster evil and cause harm wherever he can. Fortunately Halley’s comet, along with Erbert and Gerbert, always arrive in time to save the day.

I still haven’t found a sandwich better than my beloved Flash, but I’ll keep eating.

Making Sausage

I had the opportunity several weeks ago to participate in something I’ve never done before. My brother-in-law recently acquired some sausage making equipment and my mother and father-in-law came into possession of large amounts of ground beef as well as some venison that was still in the freezer. It was time to make some sausage. Me and my son, Brian, got invited over for the fun.

It was quite the process, let me tell you. All the recipes they used required a certain amount of ground pork. So the first stage of the operation called for grinding massive quantities of pork shoulder. As with most things, having good equipment makes a world of difference. Here we have an electric grinder making quick work of the pork. I imagine the venison also had to go through the grinder as well.

Next came the mixing. This looked like the most arduous part of the procedure. They made the venison (deer) sausage first. Ground venison, pork, some seasonings, including an interesting mixture called “freeze ‘em pickle”. I had to research this a little bit because I’ve never heard of it before. It is a curing agent consisting mostly of sodium nitrate. It adds flavor to the meat and acts as a preservative. A few years ago, they also started adding some shredded cheddar cheese to the mix. This was really good. It melts inside while the sausage is cooking and really gives the sausage a nice juicy flavor.

All this was mixed by hand along with some water to keep the meat moist and to aid in the stuffing process. It looked like a lot of work. Kind of like mixing a meatloaf for a small army.

Then the fun begins. You load up the mixture into a canister and put it into the stuffer. Then you slide the casing over the stuffing tube and turn the crank. It does work best with three people. My father-in-law, Jim, is working the crank, brother-in-law, Dave is feeding the casing, and my son, Brian is coiling the sausage. They look they’ve done this before.

Another shot of the stuffing crew.

After the venison was finished, it was time for the beef. Their plan was to make slim-jims and summer sausage. I really like slim-jims but I know they aren’t for everyone. They are a bit on the spicy side. This recipe called for beef and pork and slim-jim seasoning purchased from the local butcher. I was also told some more pepper was added for a bit more “zing”.

More mixing, and mixing, and mixing. Then we took a handful and fried it up to see if anything needed to be added. It was delicious but wow, what a kick! It was quite spicy and everyone agreed nothing needed to be added. I don’t have any pictures of this but the process was the same. The stuffing tube was just smaller.

After the spicy was done, they mixed up a batch of teriyaki flavored. A sample of this was also fried up for taste testing. It was much sweeter with a hint of brown sugar. Really good for the mild palate. Into the stuffer with that.

Next on the agenda was summer sausage. Beef and pork again, along with summer sausage seasoning with some mustard seeds thrown in. Mixing, mixing, mixing. Then into the stuffer. This one called for the big stuffing tube.

I got to take a turn at the crank.

After the summer sausage was stuffed, the ends had to be tied. Here’s Brian keeping it upright so the tying could take place.

Stuffing completed, time for stuffer disassembly and clean-up.

It was a lot of fun. The slim-jims and summer sausage went to the butcher for smoking. The deer sausage went through a vacuum sealer.

Thanks to my generous in-laws, we were rewarded for our efforts with a portion of the proceeds. I haven’t had a chance to try the deer sausage yet, but am not worried. It’s always been delicious in the past. The slim-jims were probably my favorite. After the smoking process, the spice wasn’t so overpowering. The raging inferno was tempered to a slow burn. I do like spicy sausage and they really came out nice. We had them all eaten within the first 2 weeks.

My wife and son liked the teriyaki flavor better as it wasn’t as spicy. It was good, but my preference is still the heat.

The summer sausage was fantastic. The seasoning and smoke were mixed really well. We probably wouldn’t have any of this left either but I’m rationing it. I only take a log out of the freezer every so often so hopefully it will last a little longer.

I’ll probably fire up the grill and cook some of the deer sausage this weekend now we’ve been blessed with snow-melting temperatures. It may rain, but that shouldn’t stop me.

I must thank my wonderful in-laws for the experience and gift of meat. It is most sincerely appreciated. I look forward to another invitation to a sausage making party.

False Advertising

Wednesday night I had the pleasure of dining at our church potluck. One of the signature items was a tricked out hot dog. My son was raving about them having sampled one at a youth event last week. He said they were good but made him awfully thirsty.

I seem to be on a roll with my food reviews so I’ll try another one. I needed a break from Erb and Gerb’s sandwiches for awhile. I’m a little hesitant to go back there anytime soon after having to sneak into the ladies rest room. For full details, check my last blog.

Here they are, all beef hot dogs, bacon, sausage, mozzarella cheese, french fried onions, mustard, ketchup, garlic mayo, and pineapple sauce. I have a hard time stepping out of my comfort zone, but when it comes to food, I will always try something at least once. Believe it or not, they were actually quite tasty, I went back for seconds. This combination of flavors, even the pineapple sauce, was very good. The only change I would make is a few more drops of ketchup. The downside is it’s probably not the healthiest choice on the menu. People with cholesterol or high blood pressure might want to pass these by. My rating would be 4 out of 5 stars.

Would you believe the very next day, I get an email from Arby’s promoting their new sandwich, the angus 3-cheese & bacon toasted sub. If I bought the sandwich at regular price ($4.99), I got a free curly fries and drink. The similarity between this and the hot dogs was kind of spooky. But I enjoyed the hot dogs, so I took the bait and went to Arby’s for lunch.

This is what I got. Ok, I know all about advertising and marketing and the whole point is to put your food in the most positive light. But come on, this isn’t even close to the picture in the ad. I think every restaurant is guilty of this to some degree, but fast food chains in particular seem to blatantly dish out items that never look like the picture, ever. When was the last time you got something in a fast food place that looked like the picture on the menu?

The curly fries were great, my absolute favorite type of French fry is the curly variety. The sandwich was good too, it did have pretty good flavor. It just was not worth the $5, even with the free fries and drink, I won’t be getting this again. Rating is 2 out of 5 stars. My recommendation is to stick with Arby’s value menu. For $5 you can get 5 jr. roast beefs or 5 jr. ham and chedders. In my opinion a MUCH better value, and maybe just a bit better for you.

On another note, my old car turned over 222,222 miles. It’s been a good reliable car, but probably on it’s last set of wheels. The windshield is cracked all over the place, 2 out of 4 speakers don’t work, the radio works, but not the cassette player, no CD, sorry. The cruise control stopped working about 80,000 miles ago. And it leaks drops of lubricant all over.

All the above I can put up with if not for the fact the digital dashboard is going out. The gas gauge and speedometer are the same digital readout as the mileage above. When you first start the car, the whole dash is black, which means there is no way to tell how fast you’re going, or how much gas is in the tank. Probably not something you should take on a cross-country journey. After it’s been running about 10-15 minutes, the dashboard suddenly lights up. I’m still driving it, but am not sure for how much longer.

Keep checking the blog to see if the car lasts long enough for me to try the remaining 14 sandwiches at Erb & Gerb’s. Good eating everyone.

Sandwich #2–Bornk

Continuing the saga that started with Around the Universe in 16 sandwiches, I once again entered the doors of Erbert and Gerbert’s (E&G). As a member of the sandwich society, I get a free sandwich if I try all 16 sandwiches on the menu. My first sandwich was the Boney Billy, turkey breast, alfalfa sprouts, tomato, lettuce, and mayo. It was pretty good and I gave it a 4 out of 5 rating.

Next on the menu was Bornk, tuna salad made with California tuna, celery, onions and incredible sauce (their words, not mine), topped with lettuce, tomato, and sprouts.

Out of all the sandwiches, this is the one I really did not want to order. I am not a big tuna fish fan on the best of days, and I have never ordered one at an eatery before. The only tuna salad I’ve ever had was made in somebody’s home kitchen. But I’m on a mission and I am determined to see it through.

Here it is, note the “guts” which is the affectionate term they used to describe the bread that is scooped out to make room for the sandwich filling. Those guts were the best part of this sandwich. I always nibble on the soft bread first. Once that was done, I tackled one half of the sandwich. I'll try to say both positives and negatives about each one. I liked the fact it didn’t have a strong fishy taste. I prefer mild tasting fish. I enjoy sprouts, as I’ve said before. I also liked that the celery and onions in the tuna salad were chopped very fine. I really detest big hunks of celery and onion in things. That's all the positive I can say.

Unfortunately, negative comments are easy. It was extremely dry. When I make tuna salad at home, I usually use more mayo than the average person. I also didn’t taste anything incredible about the sauce. It tasted like plain old mayo. I ate the whole sandwich, because I never throw away food if I can help it. But it was not a pleasurable experience. I give it barely 1 out of 5 stars. Sorry E&G but I will never order this sandwich again.

If you read my first installment about Boney Billy, you’ll know each sandwich is named after a character in childhood stories, that were told by the franchise owner’s father when he was growing up. Getting these stories is only possible by going to the restaurant and reading the plaques on the walls. I’ve sent emails to the company website suggesting it would be great publicity for them to post the stories online. I’m still waiting for a response, traffic must be slow in cyberspace.

As I was waiting for my sandwich I walked around reading the plaques looking for Bornk. Would you believe he wasn’t there! I walked around the store again just to make sure I didn’t miss it. They called my name and I went to pick up my own Bornk, and, on a whim, ducked into the men’s rest room. Sure enough, there were two additional characters in there. But Bornk wasn't one of them!

A cold feeling of dread washed over me as I left the store. Bornk was almost for sure in the women’s room. How on earth was I supposed to get in there? The last time I checked, I was still a member of the male side of our species. This was all a few weeks ago. I talked over several ideas with my adorable wife and the only one that made sense was that she would go and get a sandwich and check the women’s room when she was there.

So I waited, but the opportunity for her to visit the store never occurred. I really wanted to get this blog done, so this morning I called E&G.

“Thank you for calling Erbert and Gerbert’s, will this be for delivery or carryout?” The friendly voice said on the phone.

“This is going to sound like a very strange question, but I was wondering if the story of Bornk was in the women’s rest room?” I said, very sheepishly.

This really cracked her up. I was happy I could bring a laugh to someone’s day. “Oh yes, we always keep our tuna in the ladies room.” What an odd thing for her to say. But I got a chuckle out of it. “Hang on a second!”

I waited a few seconds and she came back on the line, “Yep, he’s in there, along with Jacob Bluefinger,” (another sandwich character).

“I don’t suppose I could ask…” I was going to ask if she would be so kind as to read and tell me over the phone what the stories were, but she didn’t give me the chance.

“Oh sure, just come on out, get a sandwich and we’ll let you in the ladies room so you can read the stories.”

“Um… Ok, I may stop by this afternoon.” I stammered.

“Great! thank you for calling.” she hung up.

Oh dear, what was I to do? I really wanted to find out about these guys, so this afternoon I drove out to E&G. I ordered my 3rd sandwich, the Comet Morehouse, which I’ll be blogging about next time. Then I asked if someone would let me in the women’s room so I could read the stories. I was directed to the manager who was a pleasant chap who did his best to ensure customer service. He pounded on the door to make sure it was unoccupied. It was, and he let me in. There was Bornk and Bluefinger. I read up on both of them so I wouldn’t have to go through this again when I got the Jacob Bluefinger sandwich. So with much pain and embarrassment, here is the story of Bornk for your reading pleasure.

Erbert and Gerbert do a lot of time traveling. One day they decided to make a trip to prehistoric Spain. They met up with Bornk, a cave man who could only speak guttural sounds with his voice. They named him Bornk because of the BOOORRRRNK sound he made whenever he wacked something with the big club Bornk carried. Erbert and Gerbert spent some time with Bornk and were pleasant enough to him, but they didn’t think much of him because he couldn’t communicate very well.

One day, Bornk led them deep into his cave and smeared some greasy powder from his pouch on the cave wall. He then ignited the powder and it glowed with magnificent colors. It was a picture of the head of a bison and it was a masterpiece. Which goes to show you, that you can never judge a Bornk by it’s cover.

Here is a coloring sheet of Bornk if you want to see what he looks like. Stay tuned for Comet Morehouse, sandwich #3.

Around the Universe In 16 Sandwiches

One of my fellow bloggers, Rodents Of Unusual Size, recently had a post encouraging us to try new things. This really struck a nerve with me. Mostly because I remember my younger days when I thrived on new experiences. They truly were the events that kept life interesting. Even things that went badly, usually helped me with the lessons I learned from them.

I still enjoy new experiences. I love traveling to places I’ve never been, and I make a point to hardly ever order the same item in a restaurant. I also take pleasure in reading a book for the very first time.

Sadly, as I grow older, I'm finding I receive more and more comfort in things that stay the same. I like surprises less and less. Wrenches thrown in to mess up carefully laid plans really get me upset these days. So, when I receive the advice to try something new, I get a little irritated. Partly because new things require me to step out of my comfort zone, and partly because I long for my youth and the excitement a new adventure would bring.

Nevertheless, I do see value in stepping outside the box, even if it is a baby step. I enjoy food, and judging from my increasing waist line, food most definitely enjoys me. I get tired of fast food burgers and enjoy a sub sandwich from time to time. Right now my favorite sandwich place is Erbert and Gerbert’s (E&G's). As I said, I always try to order something I’ve never had before unless I have a particularly strong craving for something. For some reason, fast food places are the exception. I’ve got my favorite item and I don’t usually deviate it. With E&G’s, my favorite sandwich is called the “Flash,” a spicy Italian club made with Capicola ham, Genoa salami, and tomato, with smoked ham, cheese, onion, lettuce, mayo, and oil & vinegar dressing. It is delicious and so good, I’ve never felt the need to try something else.

Recently, the franchise started their own version of a “frequent flyer” club, called the sandwich society. It was too enticing to pass up. You get a free sandwich just for signing up, a free sandwich on your birthday, a free sandwich for every 10 purchased at regular price, and a free sandwich for trying every one of their 16 sandwiches on the menu.

It just so happened I read the ROUS blog about trying new things shortly before going to lunch and finding out about the sandwich society. The challenge of trying every sandwich off the menu was quite intriguing. So I thought I would use this blog to chronicle my experience.

First, a bit of history. The business started 20 years ago in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Kevin Schippers and his wife, Beth created the franchise from the ground up. The weird names for each sandwich come from stories Kevin’s dad told him when he was a child. Each sandwich is named after a character in the stories, and I thought it would be fun to give a review of each sandwich along with the story behind it’s name.

I really hate making decisions and the last thing I wanted was to waste precious lunch time minutes trying to decide which new sandwich to try. Since I have to try all of them, I started at the top of the menu with the Boney Billy, turkey breast accompanied by fresh alfalfa sprouts, ripe red tomato, crisp lettuce, and Hellmann’s mayo.

Erbert and Gerbert (E&G) Herbert are two brothers who are the heroes of the childhood stories, interestingly, no sandwiches are named after them, only the characters E&G come across. Boney Billy is a skeleton the brothers meet after finding themselves trapped in a cave. Boney Billy was making objects fly at them through the air. They eventually became friends and Boney Billy was instrumental in helping them escape Comet Morehouse (another sandwich), the evil villain in the stories. Proving that sometimes, it can be a good thing to have a skeleton in your closet.

Click here for to see what Boney Billy looks like and print out a coloring sheet. The sandwich was quite tasty. I’m trying hard not to compare it to my beloved Flash, which I still prefer, but Boney Billy was very good. You have a choice of white or honey wheat sub-style bread or sliced honey wheat bread. I went with a honey wheat sub because I've always had white before and thought I was being so healthy. It turns out, from the nutritional information, honey wheat has slightly less calories, but a couple more grams of fat. Oh well. To make the sandwich, they scoop out some of the inside to create a pocket in the bread to stuff the fillings. This results in a nice, neat sandwich that is easy to hold and eat. They also wrap the “scoopings” in with the sandwich so it doesn’t go to waste. Some people throw this away anyway, but I enjoy nibbling on the bread, it’s so very soft and sweet.

In my opinion the bread is what sets E&G’s apart from other sandwich shops, it truly tastes freshly baked. The outside is a firm crust and the inside is soft enough to melt in your mouth. The ingredients inside the sandwich also taste fresh and you don’t get the feeling you’re eating something that’s been processed and shrink-wrapped for several months before serving. You will not like this sandwich if you’re not into alfalfa sprouts. I’ve found people either love them or hate them. For my part, I enjoy sprouts very much and usually take a hunk for my salad if I happen to see them in a salad bar. The sprouts went perfectly with the turkey and just the right amount of mayo.

Although not as good as the Flash, it was very tasty rating 4 out of 5 stars. Stay tuned for Bornk, my next sandwich adventure.

Welcome To Branson

A couple months ago, I had the privilege of attending a conference in Branson, Missouri. I don’t get to travel out of state very often. Twice in 16 years to be exact. So I jumped at the chance. Especially since I’ve never been remotely close to the area and it’s always fun experiencing new things.

It’s difficult to fly into Branson, they do have a commercial airport now, but flights are only offered on certain days. This turned out to be a good thing because I was able to fly into Springfield, and then get a rental car for the hour drive into Branson. Usually, when I travel for work, I’m locked into sites around the hotel vicinity and wherever the free shuttle service will take me. Having a car to explore gave me a certain amount of freedom I wasn’t used to.

I took off very early on a Sunday morning last September. The flight was uneventful and I arrived in Denver for a couple hours layover. No offense to Denver, but I’m less impressed with that airport each time I go. United has so many flights in and out of there, it is packed to the gills with people. I don’t like crowds on a good day, so this really taxed my patience. The airport was so clogged with travelers, it was almost impossible to walk anywhere. I’m a fast walker and get stressed out when traffic prevents me from going at my usual brisk pace. I bought a large Americano from Starbucks so that helped my nerves a bit. The side terminal where my departure gate was standing room only, (just barely) so I went to the main terminal area where I found a spot to spread out a bit to check email and wait out my layover. Thank goodness for wireless Internet access. I passed some humorous moments teasing my co-workers hard at work while I was on my adventure.

The flight to Springfield was a repeat of the trip to Denver, not much to write home about. You get into a flying tube and get out in another part of the country. I loved the Springfield airport, very quiet and not at all crowded. Evidently, it’s not the busy season for Branson tourism so that was a benefit to me. I went to check out my rental car, and spent too long arguing with the guy that I didn’t need any insurance since I was covered by the State of ND. I had my cards to prove it but he still had to take issue with it.

I was given a KIA Optima. He asked if I wanted to upgrade to a Camaro, but I’m sure I would have had a hard time getting reimbursed for that.My car was black and not quite as flashy as the one above, but basically the same. It was a small car for my tastes, but I’m sure it gets fantastic mileage. Everything was just weird. The shift, blinkers, wipers, cruise, and headlights were not even remotely close to what I’m used to. I kept turning on the wipers, when I wanted to signal. Later that evening, when I went to get some groceries, I needed to turn on the headlights and kept spraying washer fluid. When I got back to the hotel, I finally broke down and actually read the manual. I didn’t have any more car trouble after that. I’m a huge instruction book reader, so it surprised me I didn’t read it before I started. I got a chuckle when I saw the license plates. I’m from North Dakota, on a trip to Missouri, and my rental car had Indiana plates.

Getting out of Springfield was a challenge. Traffic was hectic after leaving the airport. They had road construction going on just like in North Dakota. However, where some of our highways go from two-lane to one-lane when under construction, Springfield just re-painted the lines and made the two lanes smaller. It was a little unnerving driving so close to other vehicles at highway speeds. The directions I got off the hotel website were very good, and once I was out of town on a different highway, the construction stopped and it became like the highway driving I’m used to.

Before looking at the hotel directions, I was looking at some other road maps and it looked like the most straightforward route to the hotel was by going through Branson. So I was curious when the hotel directions routed me around the NW corner of the town. It seemed out of the way, but trusted to the judgment of the hotel. I was instructed to turn off the main interstate highway 65 and go west on state highway 465 otherwise known as the Ozark Mountain Highroad. This is a winding road as you would expect through the Ozark “mountains.” I use the term loosely because like our Turtle mountains in North Dakota, rolling hills is a more accurate name. But the drive was quite breathtaking nonetheless. The scenery was fantastic and I would recommend this route to anyone. Plus, you don’t drive through Branson at all, which I was to find out, gets very clogged up with traffic. So I drove through the Ozarks around Branson, and drove right up the hotel in short order.

The conference was at the Chateau on the lake Resort an extremely nice place. I haven’t stayed anywhere this nice since a conference in Portland, Oregon that I attended about 8 years ago. I got checked in and took a glass elevator up to my room. The elevator looks out on the atrium which has a gorgeous waterfall in the middle of it. It was about supper time and I hadn’t had anything all day except some pop and coffee and a small bag of pretzels. So I got my city of Branson map and hit the road again.

My first stop was a grocery store. I always like to have a few munchies in my room but I don’t like the exorbitant fees on the hotel vending machines. This time I did go through the main drag part of town with all the tourist attractions. Would you believe I drove through the whole town without seeing a single grocery store? Evidently they want people to just focus on the attractions rather than worry about buying groceries. As I eventually turned North and was about to drive out of town, I turned off on a side street. I had only driven a couple blocks when I realized Branson has two parts of town. There’s the part they want tourists to see, and another part that is for the people that actually live there. I could see right away I had finally entered the part of town frequented by “locals”. It stopped looking like Branson, and started looking like any other residential area. I saw a Wal-Mart, and then a little ways further, found a Country Mart grocery store. This was a delightful place, with very reasonable prices. I got a 6-pack of pop, some chips and cookies, and called it good.

Now I was very hungry after browsing the deli and other food items at the grocery store. My primary rule when traveling, is to try very hard to avoid any eatery that is also available in my home town. The whole point is to experience new things and that means eating somewhere I’ve never been to before. I saw a Sonic drive-in on the way into town and didn’t feel like driving down “tourist boulevard” again so that fit the bill. I’ve never been to a Sonic before.

They had a jalapeno, bacon, cheeseburger that was a special, limited time thing. So I went with that along with tater tots, because I’ve never had tater tots at a burger joint before, and a coke. It was ok, it had been a long day so it didn’t dawn on me that this was truly a drive-in, meaning no inside seating. So I ordered my food and slid my card in the convenient slot provided. A few minutes later, a guy came out with my order and I had to eat in the car. The burger was very good, but not really any different than any other fast-food place, I’ll probably never get tater tots with a hamburger again, I should have went with the french fries. Sorry Sonic, I probably won’t be back for a return visit.

Now it was dark, so I had to turn my lights on before driving back to the hotel. This was hilarious because I kept turning on the washer fluid and wipers. What kind of maniac puts the headlight switch on the same stick as the windshield wipers? I may be dim-witted, but I don’t see how that makes any sense. KIA aficionados probably think this is great, but it was utter lunacy in my opinion.

Somehow, I got the lights on and the wipers off, and made it back to the hotel. Then I got the manual out and read up on everything I had trouble with. Then I practiced with the lights and wipers and where the cruise control was. Finally, convinced I had mastered the controls, went back to my room, called my family, and went to bed.

Breakfast was included with the registration, so I went down and enjoyed some delicious scrambled eggs, broasted potatoes, fruit, bacon and sausage. Then I had some grape juice and my beloved coffee. I got a few curious stares as I filled my own personal thermal coffee mug. The cups they provide at meetings and conferences are just too small and the coffee gets cold too quickly. So I’ve gotten into the habit of dragging my coffee mug with me when I travel. It's the perfect size to get me through until the next break.

The conference started with the general session involving everyone. After some words of welcome from our host, the deputy director of the Missouri Department of Conservation, the mayor of Branson, Raeanne Presley gave the keynote address. In addition to being the mayor, she married into the Presley family which was one of the first entertainment groups that set up their show in the Branson area. She mentioned that tourism is Branson’s only industry. I could see this very clearly because every local I had come in contact with, the people at the hotel, the grocery store, and the Sonic drive-in, were so completely friendly and accommodating. It seemed as though everyone made it their personal mission to ensure I was enjoying myself and if not, they needed to know why so they could correct it immediately. Absolutely everyone I met was extremely polite. Except maybe one person at a place I visited which I will tell you about later. The mayor continued with some interesting historical facts about Branson and wished us to enjoy our stay.

The next speaker was Bob Priddy, radio journalist, humorist, and historian. This guy was absolutely, gut-busting funny. You could tell he made a living out of talking to people. He took us on a very thorough history of the state of Missouri and Branson, and had us laughing all the way. I really enjoyed listening to him.

Then the training and development coordinator from the Missouri Department of Conservation gave a presentation about dealing with workplace stress. Also something I got some value out of and extremely humorous as well. I firmly believe, if you ever have to give a speech or presentation, even a serious one, it is almost always beneficial to interject humor into your talk.

It was time for lunch, which was also provided. It was a delicious soup, salad, and sandwich buffet. They had a raspberry vinaigrette that was pretty tasty on the greens. Iced tea seems to be a staple down there and was offered all day with the water and coffee. I enjoy unsweetened iced tea very much so I actually took a coffee break, I mean a break from my coffee and went for some tea.

After lunch we went into the breakout sections. Small groups according to your job description. As a computer guy, I was in the Information Technology group. I’ll spare you the details. The content of these meetings is extremely boring to most of the known world. The one thing I will say is how enjoyable it is to talk to my peers from other states. As a technology person in the fish and wildlife industry, I have a fairly unique set of job duties. It’s difficult for me to talk about my job with people who don’t work in the field because it’s boring, or they just don’t understand what it is I do. It is very nice to speak with people who deal with the same kind of day-to-day problems I deal with and understand what it’s like. It is quite therapeutic. As a general rule, I don't care for meetings, but the breakout sessions were quite enjoyable.

After the meetings were over, it was time to head out to the conference banquet, a fish fry at the Shepherd of the Hills Fish Hatchery. On the menu was catfish, hush puppies (fried dough balls), french fries, cole slaw, and assorted fruit cobblers. No offense to the fine state of Missouri, the catfish was good, but I was born and raised on walleye and there really isn’t any comparison. I’ll take walleye any day of the week. Fruity desserts are my favorite, especially the wild berry variety. There happened to be a wild berry cobbler that I thoroughly enjoyed. Peach is a close second so I couldn’t resist a small sliver of peach cobbler also.

Then they started giving out door prizes. When your name was called, you got your choice of an item from the prize table. I selected a very nice pair of insulated, water-proof gloves which I’ve gotten great use out of the last couple days. The gloves are toasty warm and strangely light enough so you can still manipulate most objects with your fingers. It was a pretty good score.

Very full, I caught the first shuttle back to the hotel so I could open a video chat with my family and help my daughter with her geometry. The next day I found out they were giving tours of the hatchery which would have been very interesting, but evidently, it was a last minute thing they decided to do to occupy the people who were waiting for the next shuttle. Oh well, North Dakota has 2 hatcheries and I expect I’ll get a tour of the one in Riverdale at some point.

When I was back in my room, I got some ice and poured myself a strawberry crème soda before calling my family. In a few minutes my pretty daughter was on my computer screen and we commenced some geometry ciphering. It actually didn’t take that long. Geometry has gone very well this semester. My daughter either is finally starting to get math or her brain just has an easier time understanding the geometry concepts. Getting her through algebra the last two years was nothing short of torture for both of us.

I had another great night’s sleep in a very comfortable bed and breakfasted the next morning on fresh fruit and biscuits and gravy. They were good, but not as good as my dad’s. But there was plenty of hot gravy to drench the biscuits in. After breakfast there was more tech talk with the breakout groups and the main part of the conference was over. We had the afternoon free.

Lunch was on our own so I hopped into my KIA, much more familiar with the controls, and headed out on the main drag. I was in the mood for pizza so I found a Pizza World that had a lunch buffet. It was ok, but nothing to write home about, our local Pizza Hut and Pizza Ranch do a much better job in my opinion.

After lunch, I was very excited to take in the one tourist attraction I really was not going to miss, the Titanic Museum. Cameras were not allowed so all I was able to get were a couple pictures of the outside. The museum building is on dry land but is shaped like the front part of the ship.

The front of the museum has a fake iceberg with a water fountain spraying for added effect.

This was absolutely the part of the trip I enjoyed the most. There are a few of these museums around the country and I highly recommend a visit if you have the opportunity. Even if you’re not that interested in the Titanic, it is almost impossible to see this museum without being affected. You are given a boarding pass when you enter, that has a passenger or crewmember’s name from the fateful voyage, along with a brief history of who that person was. At the end of the tour, you find out if the person on your boarding pass survived.

I was delighted to be assigned the captain of ship. Edward John Smith. A 62-year-old highly respected captain. From what I read, he was very good at what he did and was well thought of by both passengers and crew. You’ll have to keep reading if you want to find out what happened to him.

The museum is self-guided with stewards stationed at various points to answer questions. They also rented audio devices for $5. Throughout the museum, there were symbols with a number printed on them. When you punched in the number, you got to listen to a recording with additional information about what you were looking at. I had to get the full experience so I handed over $5 and collected my device.

The first part talked about the ships construction and had a full scale replica of one of the massive screws which propelled it through the water. It’s hard to describe the size of that thing. The ship really was enormous. The next section went into launching the ship. 22 tons of tallow and soap were used to grease the rails so the ship could slide in the water.

There were descriptions of the boarding preparations, all the food and supplies that were required, everyone was subjected to a brief medical exam to make sure they were healthy. Then they had a window where you could see the museum mascots, Molly and Carter.

Aren’t they adorable? They are 2-year-old King Charles spaniels and pay tribute to the 12 dogs that were brought on board. My memory is fuzzy, but I believe only 3 dogs survived. Molly and Carter were sleeping when I went by the first time, but they woke up shortly after and were brought out. They were extremely well-mannered and seemed to love all the attention they were getting.

There was a replica of a 3rd class cabin. Just barely room enough for 2 bunk beds on each side and a wash basin on the back wall. You could stand in the middle and almost touch all three sides without moving. But according to most passenger ships back then, they were luxury accommodations. The Titanic was also one of the few vessels that provided food, usually 3rd class passengers had to bring their own. There was only 2 toilet facilities per floor, one for men, one for women and had to be shared by over a hundred people.

Then you got to see what the 1st class passengers enjoyed. Quite a difference from 3rd class, two bedrooms, private bathroom, walk-in closets, and a sitting room complete with fireplace. They didn’t have a replica of 2nd class but said that there wasn’t that much difference between 2nd and 1st class.

They had some actual menu cards recovered from survivors. 3rd class was served excellent food but wasn’t anything like the 11-course meals 1st class enjoyed.

Parts of the museum were interactive. There was a room you went into that was made to look like you were walking the deck outside. The temperature was even the same as it would have been that night, very cold. The whole room was black and used ultraviolet lighting on the walls to make it appear like you were looking at the night sky. You couldn’t stay in this room very long before the cold started affecting you and you had to go back where it was warm.

There was a replica of the ships wheel that you could spin, and then the displays started getting into the accident itself. The iceberg didn’t actually puncture the hull. It scraped off hundreds of rivets that allowed water to start pouring in. The hull was designed in sections that could be sealed off to prevent the ship from sinking, but they didn’t work. Water began to flow into the various sections anyway.

They had sections of deck that were built at angles representing different stages of the sinking that you could walk on. There was also full-scale replica of a life boat you could sit in. There was a pool of water kept at the same temperature the ocean was. You could stick your hand in and see how long you could keep it in there before taking it out. I lasted just over 15 seconds and it was several minutes before I started regaining the feeling in my fingers.

You could test out a Morse code device. The distress signal at that time was “CQD”. The “CQ” was the standard call for assistance but the letters don’t actually stand for anything, contrary to several web sites saying it means, “come quickly”. The “D” at the end was used to indicate a distress situation. The familiar “SOS” was just starting to be adopted and was also sent out from the Titanic. I had fun punching in and listening to the signals, and spelled out my name.

There were various displays of artifacts recovered. There were 8 crewmembers in the orchestra and there was a listing of different songs they played, all the musicians died because they wanted to keep playing as long as possible to try to comfort the people trying to escape. They initially were playing jazzy, swing songs from the day, but switched to hymns once people realized the ship was going down. A popular one they played over and over was “Nearer my God to Thee.”

The last stage of the journey detailed various recovery efforts and location of the wreckage. There are plans to raise the Titanic going on. Time is of the essence because it is very quickly turning into a pile of rust.

Sadly, my captain was not among the survivors. He did indeed go down with the ship. There are conflicting reports of the actual circumstances, none of which can be confirmed. Some survivors said he fell into the water, others said he locked himself on the bridge after giving the command to abandon ship. Yet another interesting story, probably more legend than truth, was that after he fell in the water, he surfaced and grabbed hold of one of the life boats. He apologized to the people sitting in the boat for what they had to endure, and then let go and went down.

The steward that was collecting the audio devices at the end said to me that it looked like I enjoyed my visit. I was so moved I couldn’t say anything. I swallowed a few times and was able to choke out a response, “It was amazing,” was all I could say. She nodded in an understanding way. They recommended to reserve 90 minutes to walk through the museum. I was there a little over 2 1/2 hours.

My next stop was the world’s largest toy museum. Cameras were not only allowed, but encouraged, so I’ve got lots of pictures of this. I’m a child at heart, so toys are still something I enjoy.

A few assorted metal trucks.

I’m an aviation fan so the metal airplanes got my attention.

This Rolls Royce actually came Washington D.C. It was kept there specifically for the Queen of England when she came to visit. It was her personal vehicle while she was here.

I also like old coke machines.

I had a fairly large Hot Wheel car collection in my youth, complete with the orange track you see at the bottom. Everyone who has ever owned these seems to have a story of sword fighting with the track sections. My brother and I were no different, they really stung when you got swatted with a piece of that track. My son has a bunch of cars too. He’s no long interested in Hot Wheels, but I still plan on keeping them.

Very old, large metal trucks and earth moving equipment. Built to withstand rugged play outside.

Another memory from my childhood. I actually had this TCR set (Total Control Racing) the cars had working headlights, some pieces glowed in the dark, and the cars could switch lanes.

Ah yes, who can remember PEZ dispensers? These were the rage when I was in high school. I was into the Warner Brothers Characters, so I had Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Sylvester. I also had a little truck with wheels that I remember shooting across the floor in band. I played the trumpet and my buddy was in the trombone section so it had to go across the room for him to get his PEZ fix.

Several years ago, I came across a PEZ display and couldn’t resist buying another one. I don’t have any of the dispensers from my childhood, but I still have this one.

There were bible verses placed throughout the museum. Branson is very much a faith-based community. The entertainment and shows are all family friendly and have to pass strict guidelines before performances are allowed.

I’ve always wanted a train set, but have never had the room to spare to build anything worthwhile, you almost need an entire basement or a good sized room to build a decent railway. Train sets today are nice, but I still like the old “larger than life” Lionel train sets from the 60’s.

Old blue bike.

Old red bike.

There was a huge display of various guns. This is the Steve McQueen collection.

Some handguns.

Some authentic guns that belonged to Harold Wright, author of “the Shepherd of the Hills,” a book that made Branson famous.

Beanie babies stuffed animals. These were the bane of my existence. My beautiful wife went through a “collecting” phase. We had several plastic totes filled with these creatures, stacked from floor to ceiling. Thank goodness for eBay. I was able to sell almost all of them when we decided we didn’t need them anymore.

More childhood memories. Both my brother and I had ViewMasters. Those little round picture discs brought back lots of memories.

As did this shelf underneath the ViewMasters. I had an Etch-A-Sketch and I was also in cub scouts and sported one of those blue cub scout baseball caps. I had that exact same barrel of Tinkertoys also. They were amazing. I always enjoyed building things. There are also Lego’s represented. My best friend had one of those Merlin, the electronic wizard games (red game, bottom shelf, next to the tic-tac-toe board).

This museum was wonderful. They claim anyone of any age should be able to find toys they played with in their youth. There was an old man, barely able to walk, who came up to me and said he needed to show me something. He was very determined, so I allowed him to take me to an ancient train set. He beamed with pride as he went into a very detailed story from his childhood, when he owned a set just like that. It appeared he was enjoying his visit also.

My next stop was a go-kart and mini-golf park. Here’s a shot of the KIA I was driving. In the background was the reason I was there. A 3-story wooden go-kart track called, “The Lumberjack.” Branson has a chain of attractions called the Track Family Fun Parks. They have a few different tracks but I was interested in the two huge wooden ones. They have another one called “the Wild Woody”, but that track wasn’t open.

Here’s another shot of the track. Note the 3-story corkskrew. It was a blast. The track was made of wooden boards so it made a cool bumpbumpbumpbumpbump sound as you were driving over it. The cars were a little slow for my taste, especially going up-hill. But spinning around as you were coming down was fun. The car picked up speed and you had to let off the gas just a little bit or you would lose control.

After my ride, I had time for a quick 18 holes of mini-golf. It was set to a wild west, gold mining theme. I saw my name on a fake grave marker, so I had to snap a picture of it. The golf course wasn’t very exciting, but it was challenging. I finished 19 over par, but I blame it on the fact I was trying to hurry, so I’d make it back in time to catch the shuttle for our evening showboat dinner cruise. There was a pirate’s cove golf course, but I would have had to drive in extremely busy traffic to get there, and I just didn’t have time. The attendant at the fun park was the first person I met who didn’t have the “customer service” mind set. He was rude and didn’t seem to care that he was keeping a line of people waiting to buy tickets.

After turning in my putter, I had to high-tail it back to the hotel so I could make the shuttle to our evening dinner cruise on the Branson Belle. Traffic was horrible now, everyone was trying to make it to any one of a huge number of shows that were getting ready to start. The average speed was around 5 mph.

I did make the shuttle and got in line for my boat ticket. The boat was enormous, a huge stern-wheeler with four decks. I got my seat and they started to serve the meal. This is a shot of the band that played music while we ate. It sounded great. I play trumpet in a big band that plays a lot of the same music, so I recognized every tune they played. I got a chance to talk to the trumpet player later as they were taking a break. A fine, personable fellow that exemplified the Branson hospitality I was getting used to.

The meal was great, especially after the lackluster pizza I had for lunch. A salad with the ships signature sweet onion dressing, roast beef and gravy, a chicken breast, mashed potatoes, vegetables, and lemon raspberry torte for dessert. Complemented by fresh sourdough bread (my favorite) and large quantities of iced tea.

The only downer about the "cruise" was that we didn’t actually leave the dock. Some kid had stuffed a shirt down one of the toilets during their afternoon trip, and it got jammed down into the main plumbing line and took out every toilet on the boat. They are not allowed to leave port without functioning rest rooms, so we had our dinner cruise tied up to the dock with spiffy biffs outside if you needed to relieve yourself.

After dinner, there was a break before the show. I didn’t want to drag the camera around so you’ll have to make do with lousy cell-phone pictures. It was very dark, so most of the pictures I took didn’t turn out. This first one is a picture of one of the paddle wheels.

Here’s a shot from the Texas deck outside.

When I’m left to my own devices exploring, I have a tendency to wander where most people wouldn’t go. I found this interesting motor boat tied down an empty passageway. I try to obey most signs, so I kept clear as I wasn’t a member of the crew.

Another creepy corridor ending in this sign. Once again, I was rebuffed, so I turned around.

Sorry for the blurry image. I’m sure I was walking as I took the picture, which is kind of a dumb thing to do when you think about it. But I’ve told you before, pictures just aren’t my thing. This looked like some crazy, all in one, music contraption. There were drums, horns, and a keyboard with pipes. Unfortunately, it wasn’t playing. I sure would have liked to hear it.

Then they called us back to the main hall for the show. It was kind of like the Medora musical we have in ND. There were singers that performed a bunch of songs. The theme this year is Broadway showstoppers so they sang songs from various musicals like Phantom of the opera, Oklahoma, Mame, and Little Orphan Annie.

Then we were entertained by Todd Oliver and his talking dogs. No, the dogs don’t actually talk. Todd Oliver is a ventriloquist. This show was so funny, my stomach was sore the rest of the night from laughing so hard. This is his last year with the showboat and will be opening up his own show in Branson next year. He is extremely funny if you ever have a chance to see his show.

Back to the hotel, more geometry with my daughter, courtesy of the Internet and video chat, and bed. There was a light breakfast the next morning with fresh fruit and assorted breads, pastries, and muffins. We had our closing meetings and it was time to catch my flight home.

I gassed up the rental, turned it back in, and got in line to enter the airport terminal. I waited about 15 minutes to go through security and finally realized I hadn’t got my boarding pass or checked my luggage. So then I had to go find the United Airlines window and get rid of my luggage. Another wait.

I got through security and only had to remove my shoes, coat, and belt. Fortunately, I wasn’t subjected to any body scans or pat-downs. I got dressed, grabbed my carry-ons and got to my gate just in time for initial boarding.

The flight home was uneventful. Denver was just as clogged with people. I had lunch at Que Bueno Mexican Grille. A beef and bean burrito combo with chips and salsa and a ginormous pop. The burrito was good, but not quite up to Taco Del Mar (Bismarck restaurant) standards. The chips and salsa were very good, except I didn't have nearly enough sauce.

I caught my flight home and arrived just as my family was finishing up the Wednesday evening church activities so they were able to pick me up fairly soon.

That’s about it, a good time was had in Branson, but it was very nice to be back home with my family and comfortable bed.